At a typical speaking event, I could be presenting to a few hundred people to several thousands of people. Each time I take the stage, whether it’s in person or now virtual, I put myself out there.
Just like you. Whether it’s in business, sharing your idea, or starting something new, you put yourself out there.
Each time you do, you’re taking a risk. With that risk comes the possibility that someone will be critical or negative.
In speaking, sometimes the planner will send survey results to me. When I reviewed them, hundreds of people can share how they loved my energy, the action steps they will implement or how the session was inspiring and motivational.
Then I read a comment that says, “Her voice is irritating,” “She’s too energetic,” or “I had to turn my back because I couldn’t stand looking at her.” Sometimes it’s a comment about the thing you’re most insecure about, which just makes it worse.
That one negative comment becomes all I can focus on. The more I focus on it, the more it gets in my head. The questioning myself, self-doubt, and second-guessing kick in.
Neurologists say that you believe the negative immediately but it takes a full 15 seconds before you believe something positive.
Think about it. Someone gives you a compliment, and it may not be initially easy to accept, but if someone says something critical, you immediately believe it as truth. Then that “truth” becomes the story you tell yourself, which directly impacts every relationship, decision, and job.
It’s difficult to remember the positive and difficult to forget the negative. When you think about the negative, you give it more weight, and it easily can bum you out. This has been hard wired in you since you were young, so it’s going to take reiteration and practice to change things. Focus on the things you can control. When you find the negative creeps into your mind, turn your thoughts to your skills, accomplishments, or something that brings you joy. The more you do this, the better you’ll get at doing it, so it starts to become second nature.
Whether it’s with how you communicate, operate, lead, or look don’t allow one person’s opinion to outweigh what you know about yourself to be true.
It’s ONE person’s opinion. It doesn’t make it truth. It still makes it one person’s opinion. Stop giving weight to one person over tens or hundreds of other people.
Stop listening to negativity. Focus on the positive feedback you receive. The difference you make. The value you offer. The insight you provide. The inspiration you exude.
Then continue to do it. Keep being you and making an impact to those around you. The world needs your ideas, perspective, and light. That, my friend, is the truth!
ABOUT JESSICA:
Jessica Rector’s mission is simple: transform lives. With a BBA, MBA and BS, Jessica started, hosted, and produced her own TV talk show in Los Angeles with just an idea to help others launching her first company jessICAREctor International. Having worked with clients such as NBCUniversal, the Dallas Mavericks, and American Airlines, she uses first-hand research, experiences, and strategies, to ignite your brain, extinguish burnout, and ignite your people through her process called Blaze Your Brain.
As a talk show host, keynote speaker, and #1 best-selling author, Jessica consults with companies, trains teams, and speaks at conferences, conventions, and organizations helping you change thoughts, change your outcomes, and ignite the power within. She has shared the stage with Michelle Obama and worked with Fortune’s #2 Best Company to Work For, NBCUniversal and the Dallas Mavericks. Jessica is a Contributor for The Huffington Post and has been seen on ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX for creating change. Get Jessica’s recent book, Blaze Your Brain to Extinguish Burnout: 52 Tip to Prevent, Break Through and Eliminate Burnout at jessicarector.com. Connect with her on LinkedIn by CLICKING HERE.
