For our capstone class in grad school, we had to give a group presentation. Before it was my turn, my legs were shaking, my palms were sweaty, and my hands were fidgeting. I was a nervous wreck. My part was only a few minutes, and I hated every second of it.
Getting up in front of my classmates, or anyone for that matter, was not my forte. And I really never thought I’d do it again.
Fast forward a few years, and I was living in LA. My friend suggested I host a TV talk show. Unsure what I was doing, I agreed to do it. The first show, I was nervous, and the more I kept doing it, the more comfortable I became in doing it. It helped me in talking to people I didn’t know and being in front of a live studio audience. I absolutely loved it.
Then I went back to college to get a broadcast journalism degree. I was comfortable talking to people, but talking directly to a camera as though it was a person took some practice. It stretched me outside my comfort zone again.
So when I wrote a book a few years later, and a friend suggested I start speaking to share the message, it seemed like a smooth transition. Although I had never directly spoken to audiences, as a TV talk show host, I had spoken to my guests in front of audiences. It would be different than what I was used to but not like going from the terror I felt in grad school to talking to hundreds of people.
From the first time I spoke on a stage to now has been different. You find what works, what doesn’t. Whether it’s what I’m saying, shoes I’m wearing, or set up of the seats. Then you tweak and adjust along the way. And with each tweak, you gain more confidence along the way.
Nothing good happens inside your comfort zone. Growth, learning, and progress only happen outside of it. The only way I was able to now speak on stages in front of thousands is by taking small steps, where one things leads to another and another. And with each step along the way, I gained more confidence.
Most people want more confidence in at least one area of their lives. In what area do you want more confidence?
Confidence doesn’t come from being, it comes from doing. So even though I could’ve wanted, hoped, or wished for more confidence when speaking in front of people, it would’ve never happened. The only way to get more confidence is to keep doing it over and over.
So what work works and what doesn’t work for you. What do you need to change or adjust? What can you do to be better prepared? What gets the best results?
The more you keep doing that which you want more confidence in, the more confident you’ll get in it.
Don’t give up when it’s uncomfortable or when it doesn’t work out the way you planned. Figure out how to change one thing, so you when it happens again, you are better prepared.
Your goal each time is not for perfection, because then you’ll be let down. Your goal is for it to be better than last time. If that is your goal every time, you’ll be headed in the right direction. And in doing so, you’ll feel your confidence grow.
Before you know it, instead of approaching it hunched over, looking at the ground, and unsure, you’ll go in with your shoulders back, head high, and confident.
When you’re confident in one area of your life, then move onto another area of your life where you’d like a little more confidence.
Again, it’s not about going from where you are to where you want to be overnight. It’s about taking a small step today, and then another one tomorrow. Let that confidence grow over time. Then you’ll look back and see how far you’ve truly come, because when confidence grows in one area, it can’t help but grow in others areas simultaneously.
In what area of your life would you like more confidence? What is one thing you’ll do today to help your confidence grow in that area?
Jessica Rector’s mission is simple: transform lives. With a BBA, MBA and BS, Jessica started, hosted, and produced her own TV talk show in Los Angeles with just an idea to help others which launched jessICAREctor International. Through her own experiences, research, and strategies, she helps you turn inner communication into outer success through her proprietary process Tame Your Brain Game. As a thought leader, keynote speaker, and #1 best-selling author, Jessica consults with companies, trains teams, and speaks at conferences, conventions, and organizations helping you disrupt your status quo thinking. Jessica is a Contributor for The Huffington Post and has been seen on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Business Journal, and Market Watch. Get Jessica’s new book, Tame Your Brain Game at jessicarector.com. Follow her on Facebook by CLICKING HERE.
