I have a confession. My weakness is ice cream. I can eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and snacks…all in the same day. At any given time I have anywhere from seven to nine different flavors in my freezer. I like variety.
In fact, I ate seven scoops of ice cream, seven days a week, for seven months when I was pregnant with my son. Even after he was born, it was three scoops, seven days a week, for five years.
Did I mention I love ice cream?
One night, as I really wanted to open the refrigerator to grab some ice cream, I stood staring at a stack of peaches I bought for my five-year-old son. Not knowing he was standing next to me, I said, “I really need to eat more fruit.”
He replied, “Mama, if you want to be better, you have to change your mind.”
Surprised he was standing there and shocked at his response, I thought about it for a moment.
He’s so right.
And in that moment, instead of eating ice cream, I grabbed a cheese stick.
Having ice cream every night was a habit I had created. It was something I was so used to doing that I didn’t even think about doing it. It was a routine that at 10:30 pm, I got up, went to the fridge, and picked out the two or three flavors that sounded good to me that night.
My son’s comment, “If you want to be better, you have to change your mind,” disrupted my thought process. I needed to consciously think what I was doing, what I wanted to do, and what I was about to do. And it all stemmed around ice cream.
Sometimes, many times, we have to jerk ourselves out of our usual thought process. We operate on autopilot most of the time, not realizing what we do or not recognizing our thoughts, which is also the reason a month, six months, or a year can pass, and you’re in the same place. You’ve put yourself on autopilot, just going through the motions.
When a habit is so engrained in you, it’s not a matter of just telling yourself not to do it. You have to jolt yourself out of that status quo state you’ve been in. Sometimes you are too close to the situation, so it’s easier for someone else to do it. And if you don’t expect the jolt, it’ll have a stronger impact on you.
So whether it’s eating ice cream, or in the workplace with ignoring conflict, communicating poorly, or managing instead of leading, if you want to be better, you have to change your mind. Once my son disrupted my ice cream thought process, I knew my wanting things to change won’t create change (after all, I’ve taught thousands of others about this very thing).
The only thing that creates change is my actually changing it. So when I found myself going to the freezer, instead of being on autopilot, I’d walk to the kitchen and say, “Open the frig. Open the frig.”
When I opened the refrigerator, I would see what was quick and easy to eat. I’d usually grab a yogurt, which I started off not liking and now enjoy, or string cheese. It’s a smarter, healthier, positive choice. I may not see the impact immediately, but over time, the impact will speak for itself.
When you take action, even a small action, it may initially be hard. You may start off not liking it, but once you keep doing it, it becomes easier. And the only way your organization, your leaders, and your team can be better is if you change your mind on what you’re doing that, if you’re honest with yourself, really isn’t working. You may not see the change immediately, but when you take consistent action, the results will happen and the impact will create a ripple effect.
What do you need to improve? What needs to happen to jolt you out of your usual thinking?
Jessica Rector’s mission is simple: transform lives. With a BBA, MBA and BS, Jessica started, hosted, and produced her own TV talk show in Los Angeles with just an idea to help others which launched jessICAREctor International. Through her own experiences, research, and strategies, she helps you turn inner communication into outer success through her proprietary process Tame Your Brain Game. As a thought leader, keynote speaker, and #1 best-selling author, Jessica consults with companies, trains teams, and speaks at conferences, conventions, and organizations helping you disrupt your status quo thinking. Jessica is a Contributor for The Huffington Post and has been seen on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Business Journal, and Market Watch. Get Jessica’s new book, Tame Your Brain Game at jessicarector.com. Follow her on Facebook by CLICKING HERE.
