I pick up the phone to a lady panting.
She finally says out of breath, “Jeeesssssica?”
I reply, “Yes. Who is this?”
She says, “The substitute nurse at the school. Sorry, I’m out of breath carrying your child. A friend pushed him into a concrete wall, and he hit his head. He couldn’t walk, so I was carrying him.”
My heart stopped for a beat, while my brain was screaming, WHHAAATT??!!
Confused, I say, “Can you verify the child’s name (secretly hoping it’s not mine)?”
She yells back to someone else, “What’s the child’s name?”
Another voice responds, “Blaise Rector. Hi Ms. Rector” and then says her name, who I immediately recognize as the principal, as she and I are familiar with each other.
My heart sinks, as I sit in a hotel room in Denver, knowing I’m thousands of miles away preparing to give a keynote tomorrow.
The principal says B’s eyes look good—they are reactive and dilated, but he needs to get his head checked. I hang up with the principal, remaining calm.
My mind goes into thinking mode. I need to call my dad to get B and take him to Urgent Care. Ugh, my dad doesn’t answer. Why isn’t he answering?! He’s always home.
Then it occurs to me. Eesh, my dad is getting a colonoscopy, of all days.
My mom isn’t driving due to recent back surgery.
I call my sister, who took my dad for his procedure. She says she won’t have time to get B and take him to Urgent Care, because my dad’s procedure will be done pretty quickly.
That’s it. As a single mom, those are all the people in my family nearby.
Mind, think, mind, think. Who can you call? Whose work schedule is flexible? Who would be willing to get B?
Holly?
Our dear friend, whose son is on B’s soccer team and goes to school with B, lives in a nearby neighborhood. Maybe she’s working from home today.
I call her. Yes, she answers, “Hi Holly, are you working from home today?”
“No, I’m not. What’s up?”
The first sign of tears enter my eyes as I do my best to get out what happened to B.
She says, “Yes, I can come get him. Happy to. I have a flexible day today.” Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I call the school and let them know that although Holly isn’t on our list, she will be picking him up.
I call Urgent Care, who says they wouldn’t be able to see him. He needs to go to the ER.
On the way to the ER, Holly tells me that B remembers nothing. Absolutely nothing. He only remembers waking up from a dream-like state.
Scary.
As I wait for news from the ER, I call the principal who tells me she watched the video footage, talked with the other person involved and talked with several witnesses.
Apparently, the tall girl was playing with B and admitted to pushing him too hard…so hard that he fell into the concrete wall hitting the back of his head. And blacking out.
Scary.
ER quickly gets B in. The doctor checks him out, does a CT scan, and releases him after the CT scan comes back clear. Thankfully!!
Holly takes B home and calls later that night to check on him (her son also told her that B got hurt at school and that they needed to check on him-he didn’t know she took care of him).
I share this with you for two reasons:
1. Who is your Holly? That person you can rely on, you can call and they will stop what they are doing to help you. No questions asked; they are there for you and to support you. This is also vital in preventing burnout. Have a strong support system in place before you need it. You need a Holly in your life, at home and at work. Don’t wait for an emergency or burnout to happen to find out who that is. Think about it now and know who it is. Ask around to see who you can add to your list.
I also discovered through this situation, that I have more “Hollys” than I realized. Several other people said, “Put me on your list of people to call. I’m happy to help.” Yet when I was trying to think of people, my mind was having a challenge thinking of anyone. Write a list of your people. You, also, have more Hollys than you might think.
2. Initially, I had to compartmentalize. I couldn’t allow myself to worry about B. I had to get into action. I had to figure out who to call, what Urgent Care would take my insurance (we’ve only been to an Urgent Care one other time six years ago) and get the information about the incident. I was in action mode.
When that ended, I still had to compartmentalize, as I was getting on stage the next day in front of hundreds of people. I had to make sure my emotions were intact and my mind was clear in order to convey the right message and make the greatest impact to this audience, which I wanted to do.
When I left the event, it allowed me time to process the incident, let go of the compartmentalizing and release my emotions, which was freeing.
It’s easy to compartmentalize to get through a situation or tragedy, which can lead to burnout, so don’t fall into the habit of doing this for too long.
Give yourself the space and the grace to release your emotions…to let go. Don’t push them down, because they will eventually find their way out in one way or another, and sometimes that does more damage. Whatever
emotions you have, process them and let them out, so you can move on to what you need to do next.
Who can you count on?
How can you tap into your emotions to better serve your well-being?
Having a strong support system and being able to release your emotions are vital to your well-being and preventing burnout.
Update on B:
B’s head hurt and he was confused, but he slept the rest of the day.
The next day he was dizzy, and his head continued to hurt, but the swelling went down a bit. YAAAYYY.
We are seeing his PCP to get an update.
Hopefully, he continues to recover and get better, back to his normal state.
