We have 60,000 thoughts a day, and 80% of them are negative.
You could be the most positive, optimistic person, and you still have negative thoughts. They have been engrained in you since you were a child.
Think of a toddler, they say what they want, when they want. They don’t know what negative thoughts are. You learn negative thoughts, unknowingly, from those closest to you when you are told, “You can’t do that,” “You’re not as smart as your brother,” or “You’re not as talented as the other kids.” Or many other things you hear growing up.
When you hear these, you tell yourself, If those closest to me think this, then it must be true. So you take it on as truth and repeat it to yourself. Then that becomes the inner dialogue you tell yourself over and over. So much so that it becomes truth to you. Then that “truth” becomes the story you tell yourself. So you have decades of experience repeating these things to yourself and believing them as truth.
It’s a habit you’ve formed over the years, most of the time not recognizing you even think or say these things. These words and phrases are your comfort zone, your safe place, your status quo. When something doesn’t happen the way you expect, you immediately go to these thoughts. You think I failed, I knew it wouldn’t work out or why would I think this time would be different.
Through my own research, I’ve discovered we recognize about 10% of our thoughts are negative. So that’s a 70% gap in what you recognize and the 80% actuality of your negative thoughts.
You can’t change something you aren’t even aware exists. Many people think they don’t have negative thoughts, but it’s a commonality among us all. It’s your habit and blueprint. Something you do without thinking about it, like brushing your teeth, eating, or showering. It’s your routine. It’s your status quo.
The first step is recognizing you have negative thoughts.
Recently, I was the closing keynote speaker at REEA’s National Conference. After I spoke, an attendee and I were talking. During our conversation, she said, “I can’t do that.”
I replied, “Were you in my session?”
She said, “Yes.”
I replied, “Did you listen to it?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you just said, ‘I can’t do that.’”
She didn’t say anything immediately, then she laughed and said, “I didn’t even realize I said that.”
It’s such a habit that we’ve formed, the negative thoughts enter our mind, stay there, and then we say them without ever realizing they are negative.
Disrupt your status quo thinking. Pay attention to your thoughts. What are the exact words you think? What are the words you’re saying to someone else about yourself?
How are they keeping you from taking positive action?
The more you think and communication those negative thoughts, the more they keep you from taking action to move forward in performance, sales, communication, leadership, relationships, or endeavors. Because you think the negative thought and have trained yourself (since you were younger as mentioned earlier) to believe it, you will decide to take inaction and do nothing.
Here’s how it works.
You mention to your team you’re implementing a new process. They ask a lot of questions about the change. When you leave, you think they’re resistant, hesitant, and ¬not on board with it, so the inner dialogue you say is, That was horrible. I’m not going to do that again.
So instead of implementing the new process, which would be a decision to move forward, you don’t implement it, which is inaction.
When, in fact, their questions could be to clarify the process and its intention, but you took it as they’re reluctant to the change. It was a matter of bad communication, which is a-whole-nother topic we’ll get into another time.
Start tuning into your thoughts. We’ll discuss in the next blog what you’re going to do with these negative thoughts once you tune into them. However, the first step is becoming aware your negative thoughts even exist.
Just like when you’re buying a car. You pick out the perfect color that you might have seen once or twice on a vehicle before. As soon as you drive off the lot, you see that same car in the same color everywhere. Once you pay attention to your thoughts, you’ll recognize them more.
Without awareness, nothing will change. The more you’re aware, the more you’re able to change these negative thoughts into positive action.
Strategy: Pay attention to what you allow into your mind, be cognizant, and stop your negative thoughts in their tracks.
What negative thought do you recall having today?
Jessica Rector’s mission is simple: transform lives. With a BBA, MBA and BS, Jessica started, hosted, and produced her own TV talk show in Los Angeles with just an idea to help others which launched jessICAREctor International. Through her own experiences, research, and strategies, she helps you turn inner communication into outer success through her proprietary process Tame Your Brain Game. As a thought leader, keynote speaker, and #1 best-selling author, Jessica consults with companies, trains teams, and speaks at conferences, conventions, and organizations helping you disrupt your status quo thinking. Jessica is a Contributor for The Huffington Post and has been seen on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Business Journal, and Market Watch. Get Jessica’s new book, Tame Your Brain Game at jessicarector.com. Follow her on Facebook by CLICKING HERE.
