Courage doesn’t always look like standing on a stage delivering a powerful message. Sometimes it looks like standing in your kitchen, heart pounding a little, swallowing your pride before you speak. I didn’t grow up hearing the words, “I was wrong,” or “I’m sorry.” Parents didn’t admit fault. They didn’t talk about better ways to handle things. You were right because you were the adult. That was the model, and without even realizing it, I carried that model with me into adulthood.
I didn’t want to say I was sorry. Sorry felt like weakness. It felt like losing. It felt like admitting there was something wrong with me, and I have never been someone who wanted to look weak. Then I had my son, and something in me began to shift. Not overnight. It happened slowly, in ordinary moments—the slammed door, the sharp tone, the rushed response when I was irritated about something that had nothing to do with him. I would walk away and feel it—that quiet tug in my chest, that knowing: you could’ve handled that better.
Every part of me wanted to justify it. I’m tired. He needs to learn. It wasn’t that big of a deal. That would have been easy. That would have been familiar. But one day, instead of defending myself, I walked back into the room. I looked at him and said, “I’m sorry I did that. I could’ve done it better.” It felt awkward and exposed, vulnerable in a way I wasn’t used to. I expected it to make me feel small. Instead, it made me feel strong.
So I kept doing it. “I’m sorry my tone was too harsh. I was annoyed by something else.” “I’m sorry I was late. I’ll do better next time.” “I’m sorry I reacted that way.” Each apology felt like I was breaking a pattern that had been handed down to me. Each one felt like I was choosing a different legacy.
B is 13 now, and what I’ve noticed is I don’t have to force it. He’ll come to me and say, “Mom, I’m sorry I did that. I’ll do better next time.” Or, “I’m sorry I wasn’t respectful.” Or, “I’m sorry I said it that way.” There’s no prompting, no lecture, no shame. Just ownership. It’s almost as if he’s been listening all along.
What gets me every time is this: I thought apologizing would make me look weak. Instead, it built strength in both of us. It would have been easier to keep doing what was modeled for me. Easier to protect my ego. Easier to shrug and say, “That’s just how I am.” But courage rarely shows up in dramatic gestures. It shows up in the decision to do it differently—to show up differently, to learn differently, to model differently.
It takes courage to admit you were wrong when you were raised to believe adults are always right. It takes courage to change your mind about what strength looks like. It takes courage to say, “I messed up.”
Courage isn’t found in perfection; it’s found in accountability. It lives in your daily decisions—in the tone you choose, in the words you use, in the apology you give instead of the excuse you offer. At home. At work. In the conversations that matter most.
The real question isn’t whether you’ll be courageous in the big moments. It’s how you’re showing up in the small ones.
What are you modeling? Because someone is watching. And if you weren’t taught that apologizing is strength, you can teach it. If you weren’t shown emotional ownership, you can model it. If courage wasn’t demonstrated for you, you can become the demonstration. And that might be the bravest thing you ever do.
ABOUT JESSICA:
Jessica Rector is on a mission to help others truly live.
Jessica Rector is a keynote speaker, resilience strategist, and founder of The Say Yes Experience. She helps individuals and organizations get out of their comfort zones and into possibility by turning curiosity, courage, and connection into real confidence. Jessica’s work was born from burnout and rebuilt through bold action, proving that growth doesn’t start with certainty, it starts with a brave yes. Her message is simple, powerful, and transformational: stop waiting, start showing up, and watch what becomes possible.
Jessica has worked with clients such as Scotiabank, NBCUniversal, the Dallas Mavericks, and Fortune’s #2 “Best Company to work for.” As a #1 best-selling author of 13 books, Jessica has been interviewed on NBC for her research and work on the power of Saying Yes.
Jessica hosts Say Yes Retreat Experiences, empowering you to check off your Life List items. When she’s not traveling around for work, she creates Say Yes Experiences, while learning about the exciting world of ebikes, so she can carry on real conversations with her CFO, Chief Fun Officer, her 13-year-old son, Blaise, who is also a #1 best-seller author and the youngest published author in the United States.
Get Jessica’s recent book, The Say Yes Experience: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and into Possibilities at jessicarector.com. Connect with her on Instagram by CLICKING HERE
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