Ninety percent of your thoughts are the same thoughts you’ve had before. Only ten percent of your thoughts are new. So what do you keep repeating to yourself and how is this holding you back?

You had a fight before you left home this morning. It’s weighing on your mind as you go to work. Once you’re at work, your mind keeps reverting back to the fight…what was said, how it was said, or what you should’ve said differently. You tell yourself you need to focus on the project you should be working on, but your attention keeps diverting back to the disagreement.

Then you have a conversation with yourself about how you should’ve known better. Why didn’t you just give in? Why did you have to say anything? Something that started off so small ended up becoming a huge fight. Why couldn’t you just let it go? Because you always let things go, and you’re tired of letting things go. Why couldn’t she understand your side? Why does it always have to be her way?

The tension rises in you at work the more you think about it. Focus. Focus. Yet you’re not able to. You can’t get out of your own head long enough to be productive. You get up and grab something to drink. You see someone in the hall and ask him about his weekend. You walk away and think how you’ve got to get this project done today. You feel the stress building.

How can you lead others in this state of mind? How are you able to be at your peak performance when you can’t focus? How does one thing that seems so unimportant turn into a fight and then lead to the negative inner dialogue aftermath that it literally affects the rest of your day?

Your internal conversations don’t discriminate. They can happen anytime, anywhere, and pertain to any situation. It’s time to get a hold of them and stop them in their tracks, so they don’t ruin even a moment of your time.

When things, whether a conversation, experience, or incident, don’t happen the way you want, it’s easy to take it on as a reflection of you allowing you to think What’s wrong with me? It might also look like Why did this happen or How could this happen?

Instead of thinking there is something wrong with you, change your thinking to How is this an opportunity, What did I learn from this, or How can I do things differently next time?

When you reply a conversation in your head, it leads to other negative thinking, and that keeps you stagnant. One negative thought can lead you down a rabbit hole for hours, keeping you from making progress, leading effectively, or finishing tasks. In the midst of negative thoughts, stop them immediately. Don’t allow yourself to finish the thought. Flip it on its head and turn it around into something you can use to move forward. When you do this, you’ll find the amount of times you have negative thoughts will decline which will improve your performance, build stronger relationships, and enhance your influence.

Change your thinking, flip negative thoughts on their head, and you’ll also find more of what’s actually possible to accomplish.

We want to hear from you. In the comments below, share with us how your repeated negative thoughts have impact you, your life, or your work? How do they keep you from better performance, sales,
or influence?


Jessica Rector’s mission is simple: transform lives. With a BBA, MBA and BS, Jessica started, hosted, and produced her own TV talk show in Los Angeles with just an idea to help others which launched jessICAREctor International. Through her own experiences, research, and strategies, she helps you improve performance, increase sales, and enhance influence with the art of courageous conversations. As a thought leader, keynote speaker, and author, Jessica consults with companies, coaches individuals, and speaks at conferences, conventions, and organizations helping you change what you say to yourself about yourself to change your work and home lives. Jessica is a Contributor for The Huffington Post and The Good Men Project and has been seen on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Business Journal, and Market Watch. Get Jessica’s new book, Breaking the Silence: Taking the Sh out of Shame at Follow her on Facebook by CLICKING HERE.

Show Buttons
Hide Buttons