Vulnerability can be scary. It’s like putting a spotlight right on you. Saying, “Here I am, totally exposed. Do what you will.”
When you think of it like that, who wants to be vulnerable?! Not many people enjoy being totally exposed and open for people to criticize, ridicule, or make fun of you. You’ve been there before. Where you were bullied, made fun of, felt not good enough or not worthy, and it doesn’t feel good.
It hurts. It’s painful. So you’ll do anything to avoid that kind of pain again. If vulnerability even has the slightest chance of bringing that kind of pain, “No, thank you,” you’ll opt for anything else.
In fact, you’ll opt to keep living the way you’ve been living. After all, when living this way, you’re in pain, but it’s a different kind of pain. It’s the kind of pain where you know what the pain looks like. You know how it feels. You know what to expect with it. It’s the “known” pain, and the “known” pain is so much better than the “unknown” pain. Vulnerability opens up the chance of “unknown” pain, and you’re not willing to take that chance. SHARE THIS!
Here’s what you may not know about vulnerability. Even though it has the chance of eliciting “unknown” pain, it also holds some magic, some power all its own.
Vulnerability looks like strength in someone else. When someone else is vulnerable, you think, “Wow, that’s brave of him to share that.”
“How strong she is to talk about that.”
“He’s courageous to fight his way through that.”
Yet you think vulnerability looks like weakness in you, and you don’t want to be perceived as weak. TWEET THIS!
So you don’t share. You keep things bottled up. You don’t want others to know you’ve made mistakes or that you have flaws or failures. If they knew, then might think less of you. They may not like you, want to do business with you, or be your friend.
So you go around hiding. You put on a mask. You have built these thick, high walls. You don’t let down your guard. And you don’t need help…ever.
But the reality is you do. You do need help. You can’t do it alone, and you don’t have to. You want to be seen for you. You want to stop the struggle. You want support. You want to stop suffering. You want to stop the hurt and the pain, but you just don’t know how to do it.
And vulnerability hasn’t been your buddy. You tried it before, and you got shot down. Or you were laughed at. Or you weren’t understood. So you vowed to never do “that” again.
But vulnerability is your friend. Maybe it didn’t work out the way you planned before, so I get how you can be hesitant. But at the core of who you are, you want to connect. It’s one thing every human has in common. We all want to connect, and vulnerability is the one thing that allows you to connect. SHARE THIS!
If you think vulnerability is strength in others, then others find it as strength in you too. Find a safe place for you to let down your guard. It doesn’t have to be with everyone you know or meet. It can just be one person, one group, one friend. Allow yourself to step into the unknown and be vulnerable, because something amazing waits for you on the other side.
It’s not about how the person will respond to your vulnerability, it’s about you releasing it. You being able to release the very things holding you back creates connection. It creates forward progress. It creates opportunities. That’s the power of vulnerability. TWEET THIS!
And if that wasn’t enough, the more you’re vulnerable, the more you will connect with others. People can’t relate to perfection, because they aren’t perfect. So when you let down your wall and let people in, they realize, “Oh, we are just the same.”
“I’ve been through that too. It’s so good to know I’m not alone.”
“I had the same thing happen to me.”
Every person wants to know they are not alone. That someone somewhere has been through something similar and not only survived but thrived. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you create an undeniable connection with other people. They feel they know you. They like you. They trust you, because you’re just like them.
It may sound counter-intuitive, but if you want to reduce your pain or hurt, become vulnerable. Share your pain, because others have been there. If you want help, become vulnerable. People are willing to help you, but they need to know you need help. In order to get help, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and ask for it. If you aren’t sure where to get help or how to get help, join our free Facebook group for men. The guys in the group have been there and they get it. They want to help you in your journey. Join the group by CLICKING HERE >>
If you want your dream job, be vulnerable. If you want to find love, be vulnerable. If you want to build a tight knit group of friends, be vulnerable. If you want to deepen relationships or communication, be vulnerable. If you want more clients, be vulnerable. Allow people to get to know the real you. Connect on a deeper level, and then watch the clients buy, relationships form, and opportunities open.
You got this. Now, open yourself up to the power of vulnerability and say hello to the newer, truer version of you!
Jessica Rector’s mission is simple: transform lives. With a BBA, MBA and BS, Jessica started, hosted, and produced her own TV talk show in Los Angeles with just an idea to help others which launched her first company jessICAREctor International. As someone who attempted suicide as a teen, had a lot of self-judgment around being a single parent, and has a brother who died by suicide, Jessica knows challenges, issues, and pain and how to turn them into something good. Through her own experiences, research, and strategies, she helps you break through your inner struggles and free yourself. As a thought leader, keynote speaker, and author, Jessica consults with companies, coaches individuals, and speaks at conferences, conventions, and organizations helping you change what you say to yourself about yourself to change your thoughts and actions to change your life. Jessica is a Contributor for The Huffington Post and The Good Men Project and has been seen on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, Business Journal, and Market Watch. Get Jessica’s third book, Breaking the Silence: Taking the Sh out of Shame at jessicarector.com. Follow her on Facebook by CLICKING HERE.